I recently started a new job where most of the IT infrastructure and security team members are from India. They're knowledgeable, friendly, and great to work with, but I've noticed that they usually make only brief eye contact with me during presentations, technical discussions, and one-on-one conversations. A colleague who started at the same time and is also Indian seems to receive more direct eye contact. I'm the only white person on the team and was hired into a senior role. Could this be a cultural or workplace-hierarchy difference, or might I be doing something that makes people uncomfortable?
4 Answers
It’s understandable that eye contact feels important to you during a serious conversation, but expectations vary widely. Brief eye contact doesn’t necessarily mean someone is being dismissive. If you build rapport and keep the conversation relaxed, their behavior may change naturally. You could also ask a trusted colleague about local communication norms without making it sound like a criticism.
It could be related to culture, seniority, or simply individual communication styles. In some settings, extended eye contact with someone more senior can feel overly familiar or even disrespectful. Your colleague may also be at a similar level to the rest of the team, which could explain the difference. I wouldn’t assume it means they dislike or distrust you.
Try not to reduce the explanation to nationality alone. People differ because of personality, upbringing, neurodiversity, comfort level, and workplace hierarchy. If everyone is participating, responding, and doing good work, limited eye contact is probably just a preference rather than a problem.
A lot of technical people, regardless of background, aren’t comfortable with prolonged eye contact. Some people look away while thinking or listening and still follow the conversation closely. If their work and communication are otherwise good, this probably isn’t something to worry about.
That makes sense. I think I may be interpreting a different communication style as a lack of engagement, especially because I’m used to reading eye contact as a sign of respect.