I recently reconnected with an ex, and during phone calls I sometimes hear an echo that he cannot hear. It usually fades after a while, whether he is using headphones or his iPhone through CarPlay. He jokes that nobody would bother recording him.
During a sightseeing drive, he received a call through his Lexus IS 350's audio system. An automated female voice announced, "Recording started. Two devices connected." I had never heard that message before. He quickly interacted with his phone or the car's touchscreen, seemingly trying to stop the announcement, which made me uncomfortable.
I do not know the car's model year, the iPhone model or iOS version, whether he has dashcams, or whether he uses call-recording hardware or software. His phone was mounted magnetically, and he is very technically skilled, so he has plenty of electronics and custom gadgets around.
Could this announcement have come from dashcams, CarPlay, the phone, or another device? Is it likely that he records calls? We both live in states where everyone on a call generally has to consent to recording, and when I asked whether his state required consent, he acted evasive. What should I do if I find out he has been recording our conversations without telling me?
3 Answers
His quick reaction and vague answer are reasonable reasons to be cautious, even though they do not prove anything. Do not rely on guesses about the dashcams or the phone. Until you get a clear answer, avoid discussing anything sensitive with him, use your own device for calls, and consider ending contact if you do not trust his explanation. If you believe a recording was made unlawfully, preserve messages and other evidence and consult a local attorney about the consent laws where each person was located.
The announcement may have been generated by an iPhone call-recording feature, a connected recording accessory, or a vehicle-related device. “Two devices connected” could also refer to an audio or Bluetooth connection rather than two people being recorded. The only reliable way to know is to identify the devices and inspect their settings with his cooperation. Recording laws vary, and saying that a recording cannot be used in court does not make an unauthorized recording automatically legal.
The echo by itself is not strong evidence of recording; Bluetooth, CarPlay, network issues, and audio feedback can all cause that. The announcement sounds more like a phone, car, or connected accessory announcing that recording began, but there is not enough information to identify the source. If your calls were being recorded through the phone, you would often hear an announcement too, depending on the software and settings. The safest move is to ask him directly whether any device records calls and make it clear that you do not consent to being recorded.
I would not assume the announcement proves he recorded your calls. It could have been triggered by the other caller’s phone or by a connected device in the car. Still, consent and trust matter, so asking plainly and setting a boundary is appropriate.